Updated: Sep 13, 2021
Any fella out here is feeling really worn out and drained without exactly knowing the reason why?
If so, you NEED to frequently ask yourself this one question.
BEFORE the question...
Let's try to better understand the cause of our weariness. I would say that one major leecher of our energy is the invisible forces of social pressure. It is quite known that "comparison is the thief of joy" but even as we try to consciously discipline ourselves against that, it is inevitable that we have to directly or indirectly address these social "standards and expectations". They may come in the form of questions posed by family members, relatives or friends (out of genuine concern or not), posts shared on social media (remarkable milestone celebrations or simple happy moments) or even at a high level, the news reported or policies set by the government (imagine learning that you earn below the "average wage").
My point is that it is too easy for us to be swept along by social expectations and standards.
The term "swept along" was used to imply the difficulty in fighting against these influences and many of us would just resign to "going with the flow". Riding on this analogy, instead of fighting against the current — i.e. exerting tremendous effort and performing drastic actions (e.g. throwing in your resignation letter, thinking of migration, going around spreading hate speeches), I would think that a more practical approach would be to "get out of that stream". How do we do that? I think the best way is to ask ourselves this simple question.
Yes! This question is deliberately kept simple to serve as a quick-to-apply reflection prompt. Much like an eject button, this question serves to extract ourselves from the state that we are caught up in (and exit the matrix 🤓). When we can't help but feel inferior/insignificant/unaccomplished and tired/frustrated, ask this question sincerely. This simple question serves to (1) challenge our reflex response/assumptions and (2) allow ourselves to more objectively evaluate if there is a legitimate reason for us to be bothered by these standards. If the answer to part (2) is that there is NO legitimate reason other than the generic expectations of the "norm", then allow yourself to repeat the same two words as a statement instead of a question — why bother!
Should I be bothered?
Of course, the goal of this question is NOT to encourage cynism where every situation is faced with nonchalance and a can't-be-bothered attitude. There would be times that there are legitimate reasons to be concerned as, after all, our intuition often provides us invaluable insights into our true state of mind and desires which we often neglect.
As shared previously, we need our ego to be kept at a healthy level for us to stay confident and hopeful about the future. Do not be afraid to acknowledge such moments BUT always remember to be loving, kind and constructive when communicating with yourself!
In another way, you may ask why bother with this question too. 😜 #befree
Thanks for stopping by. Let me know what you think. If you have the time, it will be great if you can drop by LEARND.online to show some support!